“…Rules Committee has seen to it that no one who understood the game the year before should understand it this year.  The motto of the Rules Committee seems to have been: ‘New rules and new [fans] each year.’ …They changed rules every season as if they were trying to work up a new game…and make it into something they didn’t quite know about.  They made illegal all the old plays that used to be the essence of the game and sat up nights trying to think up new things to put in their places.  It has got so now that the Rules Committee itself is about the only body of [people] who know enough about the game to play it, and they haven’t anybody to play it with.”

This quote sums up the sentiment I get from many people each time WFTDA comes out with a revised rule set (almost unfailingly longer than the previous set) or clarification essays on the current rule set.  I can appreciate the frustration.  Teams need to change their strategies. Referees need to retrain their crews.  These are not trivial tasks.  Fans puzzle over why teams take unexpected tactics or why their favorite jammer got sent to the box.  Their inability to understand the changing game can affect how much they enjoy being a spectator.

The evolving of the rule set is just a necessary part of the evolution of roller derby.  As our sport becomes more mature, we need more robust rules.  As teams push the limits of the rules, holes are found that need to be corrected to avoid unfair advantages.  As more referees are needed, clear, detailed rules need to be written down to ensure accurate and consistent enforcement.  Thoughtful consideration and revision of the rule set will eventually lead to better play by teams and more enjoyment by fans–even if it’s painful for everyone in the short term.

The quote at the beginning of this post was taken from an essay written by humorist Robert Benchley around 1930 about another sport that was in its early years of gaining popularity.  The title is, “Football Rules or Whatever They Are.”  I think football managed to survive its growing pains of rule revisions and so can roller derby.  Maybe one day we’ll have mega pop stars having wardrobe malfunctions during the half-time show of our national championships!  I’m willing to suffer through a lot more rule changes for that!

WFTDA recommends Fox 40 whistles for referees.  These are special whistles that don’t have any little balls in them so you get a crisp, clear note.  This prevents referees and skaters from mistaking the warble in conventional whistles for the 4-short blasts ending the jam.  The Fox whistles are also louder than conventional whistles, important at loud bouts.  Fox now makes a Sonic model that’s even louder. (Hard to imagine, I know!)

Being able to hear whistles clearly during bouts is important.  However, I often leave scrimmages with my ears ringing until the next morning.  It’s bad enough that I avoid “echoing” end of jam signals, which is technically against official operating procedures.  (Echoing is when the refs repeat the 4 whistle blasts that ended the jam to ensure all skaters heard it.)  The ringing is especially bad on nights when I’m acting as a jam ref because I have to blow my own whistle a lot or when I’m the front inside pack ref because I stand next to the jam timer at the start of the jam.  I’m pretty sure going home with ringing ears a couple times a week is not good for my hearing.

The simple answer is to wear ear plugs.  I’ve tried this, and it does work.  Unfortunately, it works too well.  I can’t hear the NSO’s or my fellow refs talking to me. I’ve even tried special ear plugs that supposedly only cut out high frequencies.  You probably don’t notice–and definitely can’t hear at a bout–that referees talk to each other a lot.  For example, pack refs suggest minor penalties on jammers to the jam refs when their view is blocked, pack refs double check what they saw with each other before calling penalties, and there’s a constant dialog to capture penalties with the NSO’s.  Jam refs have to talk to each other a lot to convey lap points and lead jammer status.  I miss too much information to be effective as a ref when wearing ear plugs.

Have any other refs out there or people with loud hobbies where communication is still important found a solution to this problem?  My ears will thank you!

I have a five-year-old daughter.  I’ll call her Neo.  Her definition of a grown-up is someone who can eat candy for breakfast if they want.  Based on this definition, she knows she is not a grown-up.

The other week we had an incident at practice where we discovered we were out of instant ice packs in the first aid kit.  I couldn’t ref at the next practice because my husband is taking a class at night, but I decided to take Neo to buy some ice packs to replenish the kit and bring them to practice.  Neo bounced up and down at the check-out line telling the clerk, “We’re buying ice packs for Mommy’s derby girls!  Sometimes they get hurt, so she’s buying them ice packs!  They’re her derby girls!”

Other than amusing the clerk, it made me think, my derby girls?  Then it struck me that Neo’s other definition of grown-ups: They can tell kids what to do.  I’ve told her in the past that referees make sure everyone follows the rules.  As far as Neo is concerned, derby girls are big kids on skates being supervised by grown-ups in black and white shirts.  It’s just a taller, faster version of pre-school.

Once we got to practice, I let Neo sit and watch the girls do some rule scenarios while I put the ice packs away.  Seeing the disarray of our medical supplies, I got absorbed in chucking empty packages and expired medications, and repacking things more efficiently.  Neo watched the players intently.  My previous hypothesis on her views were confirmed.  She crept up to me and whispered, “Mommy!  One of the derby girls said a bad word!”

“What did she say?”

“She said STUPID! Are you going to put her in the box for a time-out?”

“No, she wasn’t calling another person stupid.  She was calling a problem with a rule stupid.”

“Oh.”  Neo wandered back to watch the skaters do drills, more impressed.  Apparently, to a five-year-old, derby girls are bad ass because they can say a bad word without going to the box!

With all the players and referees whizzing by getting all the attention, there’s a hard working group of folks who seldom get their due: Non-Skating Officials (NSOs).  These fabulous skate-free folks not only perform essential functions to ensure a smooth-running derby bout, they also do it wearing the ugliest, ill-fitting salmon pink polo shirts you’ve ever seen.

Jam Timer

I’m starting with this position because it has a special place in my heart.  When I first joined NHRD, it was the very first job I had in the league.  The jam timer blows the whistles to start the blockers and the jammers for each jam.  They time the jam and blow the ending whistle at two minutes if it isn’t called off early by a Lead Jammer.  The jam timer may also be responsible for taking care of the period clock as well.  These days, it’s usually my fellow blogger, Tiara Misu, whom you will find jam timing at our bouts.

Penalty Box Officials

These charming NSOs are the ones some skaters begin to develop strong relationships with because they see them so often.  The penalty box officials time penalties, ensure skaters enter and leave the box legally, and that order prevails.  This was Tiara Misu’s primary domain last season, and it is now managed by Neon Kaos.

Penalty Trackers, Whiteboarders, and Wranglers

Referees would be useless without these NSOs.  They are the ones you see huddled in the center of the track trying not to get run over by anyone.  The penalty trackers keep a detailed tally of the penalties called on each skater.  They are sometimes called “stats” NSOs.  The whiteboarders keep a more simplified tally of majors and minors on all the players so that referees can know how many minors players have accumulated and players who accumulate enough trips to the box to get ejected.  It is the whiteboarders’ job to signal referees so that the appropriate skaters get sent off the track.  The main whiteboard is in the center of the track, usually expertly overseen by Jitter Rox wearing the most awesome stilettos ever seen on the flat track.

The wrangler is an assistant to the whiteboarders and penalty trackers.  Dixie Cheeks is our current wrangler.  As you may have surmised, roller derby bouts are rather loud.  It can be hard to hear what a ref is yelling when that ref is looking at the players, not the NSOs s/he is talking to.  The wrangler’s job is to chase down refs when a call was missed or to flag a ref down when a skater needs to be sent to the box.  This job probably burns the most calories out of all the NSO positions.

Before I forget them, there are two lonely NSOs stationed by themselves in opposite corners on the outside of the track.  They hold mini whiteboards and take down the penalties of the outside pack refs.  Then they jump up and down until the inside track NSOs spot them and transfer the penalties to the inside whiteboard.  They don’t get much company out there in the boonies, so give them a hug between periods.

Scorekeepers and Scoreboard Operators

This last set of NSOs are above everyone else–literally.  They sit up in a balcony above the players’ benches and look down at the track.  From there, they can clearly see the bout and see the points signaled by the jam refs.  They then get to play with a bunch of cool buttons and make the score appear on the big lighted scoreboard.  Pretty awesome.  Sometimes the scoreboard operator is also in charge of the period clock, so the bird’s eye view is also important for detecting when the period clock needs to be stopped for time-outs.  They also have the prime spot for flirting with the bout announcers.

Whew!  I think that’s everybody.  As you can see, it takes a lot of off-skates work to put on a bout.  Next time you come to an NHRD bout, after you’ve gotten an autograph and a picture with your favorite derby girl, please take a moment to thank an NSO (and tell them they look great in salmon).